When I dropped out of school three days ago I expected to do something useful with my time- Take up a hobby, get a job, start a charity for orphaned Chapsticks... I didn't think I'd spend my first day watching an entire season of Game of Thrones and painting my face to look like a cat.
I've decided I look cuter without a black nose and whiskers.
Despite my lack of innovation at the current time I do plan to do something with myself in the near future, and anything is better than being forced to spend time with the low lives I have grown up with. Kapiti truly is a hole. It consists of two main groups of people: Pensioners and delinquents. The pensioners yell at the delinquents and the delinquents swear at the pensioners so the pensioners go to the only local night club (known lovingly as "The Cock"), get wankered and complain about their four thousand cousins, all of whom they've slept with.
Recently Kapiti was in the national news for a Facebook page known as "Kapiti's Root and Rate", a delightful anonymous forum where anyone is a victim and the three most popular words are "faggot", "nigger" and "cunt". As a mother of three (cats) I find this repulsive.
All things considered, it's no surprise I'm leaving. My father (more on him later) and I will be moving into a small house in the capital city of New Zealand (as soon as we find said house). Long term I plan to weasel my way into law school, which shouldn't really be considered weasling at all. In fact, I should get an A+ for it. Is it possible to truly weasel your way into a weasling school? How does a weasel learn to... uh... wheeze... in order to get into a weasling school? What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
People ask me if I'll miss Kapiti.
No, not really. I've lived here for twelve years so it will be a tough adjustment, and I'll miss a few of the people here (not pensioners or delinquents, surprisingly), but overall, no.
In the meantime, before I move, I need to find something to occupy my time. This blog is that more than anything, except maybe a diary for myself to look back on.
Day one: Face paint.
Day two: I lack vodka. I'll have to make do with macaroni cheese instead.
We have no cheese.
Fuck.
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